How to Help Elderly Parents From a Distance

Being a Caregiver for your parents is difficult and it becomes even more challenging when you are living far away from them. Providing long distance care comes with its own extra set of challenges. Read here for our top tips to make long distance caregiving a bit easier. 

The first and more important part of being a Caregiver – whether your elderly loved ones live in your house or on the other side of the country – is to remember that you cannot do it all on your own, and that is okay! You may want to repeat that to yourself out loud on the hard days, “I can’t do everything for my parents and that is OK.” Figure out what you can do and go from there.

Some other ways to care for your elderly loved ones from a distance (and maintain your sanity while you do it) include:

• Schedule family meetings. The meetings can be in person or on everyone’s favorite online meeting system; Zoom. Everyone can stay in the loop and responsibilities can be shared based on everyone’s strengths and schedules. It is important that your elderly loved one is part of this meeting or you talk to them in advance to find out what they want. You may not be able to accommodate everything, but their wants are an important part of the decision making. 
• Ask your elderly parents to appoint a power of attorney. Though it varies by state, the two main types of power of attorney are medical and general. A medical power of attorney can make medical decisions on behalf of the elderly parent even if they are not fully incapacitated. A general power of attorney can make other important decisions, including financial ones, on behalf of the elderly parent. These are especially important to have in place before your loved one experiences any cognitive decline. 
• Have an emergency plan. If you are the primary caregiver, you should have a plan in place so you can get to your parents on short notice if necessary. You also have a local support system in place, whether it is other family members, friends or neighbors who can step in until you arrive. 
• Consider using an in-home care service. If your parents are independent enough to continue living at home but still need some support, there are a variety of services offered by in-home care teams. They offer everything from someone to live in the home with your loved one to someone who can just drop in once or twice a week to check up on things. There are also driving services especially for seniors who can help with errand running if your loved one is no longer driving. 
• Get your elderly parents an emergency call button or specialized phone. You have likely heard of Life Alert, and there are other options for elderly parents living alone so they can quickly reach help if needed. This provides peace of mind both to the parents and the caregivers, since help is quite literally just the press of a button away. 

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As always, the best way to care for elderly parents is to take care of yourself first. When you are so focused on caring for another person it is easy to let your own self-care slip away – and not just the fun self-care like massages and girls’ nights. You also need to make sure you are eating right, getting enough sleep, and taking time just for you. There are often local support groups for Caregivers as well who can provide tips and support. Remember you can’t take care of anyone if you are burned out and exhausted.